I gather that the blows ricocheting about that place were an attempt to draw more of us into the endless arguments. When I look back, I realize that my previous attempts to ignore earlier strife (and the negativity therein), allied to my inability to connect to the Internet for any length of time, have left me in ignorance of many of the present problems at the castle. I entered its doors feeling elated (and that is no understatement! :) that I was able to communicate with others again via this medium and I was excited to reconnect with friends there. I have in the past had grievances with others, while signed in, mind you - as I always am because I give my thoughts their due, however undignified. In the process, I discovered it best to let the negativity go and enjoy the friendships I felt (and still do) I had built there.
Reading back I see that someone had attempted to draw me into the clashes taking place at the castle, and I bumbled right in. I was very angry that someone had lost no time in trying to ruin my enjoyment of the reunion, though she may not have realized that particular consequence, but she certainly didn't care. I had thought I knew the identity of the malicious person, but I am no longer certain. Her identity means less to me now that I find myself estranged from those I considered friends. I can honestly say I don't know what the genesis of this is, just as I am in ignorance of the many issues facing those remaining at the castle and those who have left. And while I can't be sorry for my ignorance of attacks, I am sorry for those who have suffered. Very much so.
I realize that I misconstrued SS's message, having thought the band was from my area and that the title referenced my statement that I was from the ghetto and being ignorant of the time the link was posted. Pretty self-centered of me, I admit. :/ However, for me, the term ghetto is no insult, rather it refers to a group of people who stood together through overwhelming odds, who were also extremely honest, forthright, even. (To this day, I have difficulty accustoming myself to the polite inaccuracies to which most give little thought.) We also called each other family in that place and at that time.
And we meant it.
Some of my friends from those days have passed away. I miss them.
I try my best not to insult others' cultures, please try your best not to insult mine, however pale my skin may be.
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24 comments:
Lol, don't worry miranth. Language doesn't offend me one bit. I use it constantly myself ^_~
I am glad to see you made a new post. Yay! With what's been going on overthere, I just decided to bail for the last two days or so. I don't need to read that garbage.
Anyways, how are you and the niece doing? Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really do miss seeing you around. I had my cell phone shut off, so right now I am in the process of getting another one activated since it used to belong to my niece, so my email is not working, although you can write me one at afieldofpaperflowers@yahoo.com.
That's my yahoo address that I'm currently using at the moment. School is going pretty good, although I felt bad because I decided to cut classes last Thursday, but I have to go tomorrow, so it's an early night tonight for me.
As for that man, well...he's been in my dreams a lot lately. Definitely older than me, but not super ultra old. He's about 36, long blond hair, buff, and tattooed. I don't know what's with me and band guitarists, they're just frankly...hot, and I have seen this one played last year at one of the festivald I had attended ^_^
Yay Miranth!! Hiya loves! How goes it!?? This post has quite a bit to think on, so thank you for that. I love to read and try to understand this strange family we have here (;p) better.
I'm so sorry to not have been in touch, for so damn long! And I hate coming back into this world, when it has been so ugly. But hopefully the more that we all, as a family, stick together and keep trying to understand and embrace each other -things will get better!! At least, I hope so!
So what have you been up too? You did move yea? I sort of missed the entire end of the last post, and I am only catching bits of the current one -so I have little knowledge of how everyone is doing and what is going on in all ya lives! I do hope things are goin better for ya Miranth. It sounded rather touch and go (and kinda scary) last we spoke. So I seriously hope that has been sorted, the bad friend issues then too, and that you are safer, more comfortable and MUCH happier in your new place!
My sis did the project just fine. I actually got a little overzealous in my desire to help her out! ;p But she did appreciate the thought, and your words for her in regards. She did laugh at me, and my bringin in my more knowledgable friend -but again, she did love us both for it all! Ha!
So let me know how you are doing. I do hope your family life is going better too. I hope everything is much better. You do deserve it Miranth! Love to ya, kiss <3l/d
Hey!
Just wanted to let you know I'm still around, and still thinking about you. I'm doing good, just thinking alot. Which may or may not be good...:).
I created a new blog, a little something different. :)
Love you,
L.
I put this at 7 but wanted to tell you here too
miranth so sorry to hear of your loss, but how wonderful that you were able to have him in your life, especially to obviously help to fill a need after the loss of your own father. It is true that his suffering has passed now, but you obviously will remember him as a shining light in your upbringing. I hope you are able to live on a way that will allow his kindness to guide you in your future dealings with everyone your path crosses.
Such a sad time, sympathies to you and your family xx
I was sorry to read of you loss. I hope time eases your pain and you will be able to smile upon his memory.
Hi Miranth.
So sorry to read of the loss of your beloved Uncle. It would appear you had as special a place in his heart, as he did in yours.
xoxo
Hi Miranth!
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for your understanding and support. As you know, you have mine as well.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's baby. Do they know any more? It breaks my heart to think of such an innocent one suffering so much...
Let me know how she and you are doing!
I'm also sorry to hear about your car. I hope it's fixed soon (and the "fixing" lasts more than a couple of months this time)!
Tell your niece and Cleo HI for me!
Hugs and Much Love,
Wendy
One more thing (concerning this post and borrowing the words of NOLA's own, Lil' Wayne):
And if you come from under that water then there's fresh air
Just breathe baby God's got a blessing to spare
Yes I know the process is so much stress
But it's the progress that feels the best
'Cause I came from the projects straight to success and you're next
So try they can't steal your pride it's inside
Then find it and keep on grinding
'Cause in every dark cloud there's a silver lining
I know...
xoxo,
Wendy
Miranth,
Hey! I hope you are doing well. I read where you have had a lot of sorrow and sickness in your life lately, and I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope things are going better, and that life is treating you well.
J. and I both had some kind of "Martian Death Flu" as we've been calling it, and it knocked both of us out of commission for a while. (Still is, but getting better.)
Take care, and love to you!
L.
Miranth,
hi there! I hope you're feeling better. How is everything? Okay I hope.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon. get well! *hugs*
Hiya Miranth!
I hope you are doing well? I was without interent for a considerable time, made me insane! ..er. ;p I have missed you and your words at Mayo's. And I just wanted to say Marie, thank you so much for what you to me, on the previous post. It was really, I don't think you'll ever know how much what you said meant to me. Especially that day. So thank you for that. I really needed to hear something positive in my direction. And I can say honestly, I am not remotely surprised it came from you. You have no idea, thank you Marie.
Please know everything you said to me, I feel of you, right back. It's hard to be honest, anywhere, but I applaud you for always speaking your mind. (I wish more people would have such courage.) And I have always felt you are a genuine and wonderful person. I think, at least lately, things I feel to be true, especially about the people I care about, I need to say outloud to them more.
I hope things are going better for you? The last time I caught you, you were in an uncomfortable place (literally!) and you were on the verge of moving. How is that going? I feel like I haven't touched base with you in so long. Please drop me a note when you get a chance sometime. I'd really like to know how you are doing. I miss getting to chat with you Miranth. Thank you again, you really helped me that day. I can't say it enough. Love to ya Mir! <33 dez/lew
Hiya Mir!
I have absolutely no doubt, you've courage enough for the lot of us. No doubt whatsoever. And I do miss you too! I hope sometime, when things settle down that we will get to chat again, at the same time! I think I caught that you have a relative you are trying to care for? I do hope everything goes smoothly with that. Even if you are just trying to help out. It can be rough, even if everything is as it should be. And it is hard sometimes, just talking to older relatives (or friends, strangers, anyone) when their minds and/or bodies are starting to turn on them. It's just painful. It's a lot of work. And it drains you emotionally, so completely. I hope you have help with that. It is a very noble thing you are doing for this person, even if sometimes, it really doesn't feel that way. Family or not. I hope the rest of your life is treating you well Mir. Hope to catch you soon, be well! Love to ya<333
Hi there miranth, thanks for stopping by my blog. It's so good to read from you again. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope it's nothing serious. Besides that, how is life treating you? How is your niece? Good, I hope.
The lack of love I'm feeling is definitely not coming from the blog universe. It's coming from my own personal life. I'm just not feeling it, and being alone all the time, it makes me just want to give up on love all together. It's been making me feel blah lately.
It's also forcing me to reevaluate my personal issues, so it's also pushing me to go talk to a school counselor. I just haven't been feeling very happy lately. Not for a long time at least. I thought at first I'd get over my issues, but it seems I'm not entirely over them emotionally.
I'll see how it goes.
I hope you take care of yourself. Have a wonderful easter!
*hugs*
I'm glad you're able to smile again. Soon you'll be telling fond stories of your uncle and you will still smile. :)
I guess we're all on a journey of self-discovery. Sometimes I think I've figured myself all out and then I do something and surprise even myself.
:)
Thank you so much for popping in to see me.
I am well, thank you, but my energies are focused elsewhere at the moment and I have little time for other things.
I hope you are well and can I also offer very belated condolences for your loss. I'm sorry they were not passed on at the time.
Take care Miranth, peace and love to you.
Hi there miranth, I hope you're well.
Hopefully this link will work. It's the picture of my newest fur baby, Bugsy. I hope you like it
http://www.flickr.com/photos/xohighvoltagexo/3461064018/
I know you will make it through this, with your mom, Miranth. You are one of the strongest people I have ever encountered, I've never read of you giving up. I am sure it will be hard. I am sure it will probably get worse, but I know you will be o.k. And your mom will do better, just having you near. If you ever need to let off steam, or misery, just drop me a note loves. I hope she stays at stage three, too. Love to you Mir, <33
Miranth,
Thank you so much for checking on me and leaving messages at my blog. I am doing much better, gaining strength everyday, and incredibly grateful for all thoughts and love sent my way. I appreciate it so much, and hope you know how much you mean to me. It's been a long, bumpy road from the beginning of the blogs, but I wouldn't trade all the wonderful people I have come across for the world. Don't let the vultures drag you down.
Love you,
L.
Hey, Miranth!
Just a little note to let you know I'm thinking about you and hope your day is going great.
Miss you at Mayo's.
Love you!
L.
Miranth, oh my, it's been months since we've seen you.
I hope you're well.
Hope you're doing well, sweetie. =)
xoxo
Me again =)
So what did you think of the Lost ending, you big Lost fan, you?
Hope you're doing well. =)
Oh wow, it's been over a year since we last talked, I think.
I hope everything is okay, miranth. I decided to open my blog again, so please feel free to stop by anytime soon if you're lurking about, lol.
I hope we can chat sometime. Take care!
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